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John B

I don't remember when I first tasted alcohol or tried my first cigarette. I was in Viet Nam the first time I smoked bud. It was there that I first tried speed. I went to Bangkok for Rest and Recuperation my second year there and had my first taste of opium. Through a series of losses and tragedies after returning to the states I wound up in Northern California and soon found myself married to the first of four wives. We were together for 15 years when a problem arose between us. Infidelity is something I just couldn't get past. I used the divorce as an excuse to use. I subsequently found my second wife about two years later and after only a few months ended up in jail for possession. I did my time and left the state and came home to Oregon. I still hadn't hit bottom because my time in Nam had me believing that there was nothing in this world I couldn't handle. Prison was nothing. So i found myself drinking and carrying on again.  A little over a year ago everything caught up with me. I found myself in a position of total bankruptcy. I actually had no idea who I was. I cried out to God for help. He answered by sending DINT to my home on an accusation that had no basis or legitimacy, however, I was found to have paraphernalia in my home from meth use. I had already been clean for a short time but was always on the verge of using again. The desire to quit was strengthened when I was cited into court and given the opportunity to join drug court. Now at first I went to meetings of NA because of compliance with the drug court requirements. I was frightened. I didn't know what to expect. When I continually was greeted as if I belonged I soon realized that I did. I was actually accepted as if everyone had known me all my life. The reason it felt that way is because we all have similarities in our addictive lives. Now I go to meetings because I desire what NA has to offer me; the fact that I don't have to use anymore.

The steps are a way of life for me and I believe that if everyone were to live by the steps this world would be a whole lot more serene. I have re-established a relationship with God and the spirituality of the program led me there. I have hope for continued recovery as long as I continue to live one day at a time. I am grateful for all that is given to me in the meetings I attend and for the opportunity to to share my story without the fear of being left alone. Thanks to all of the fellowship for being there.

 
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Jeremy

I used my whole life, yet the first time I remember distinctly was at 15. I used for approximately 2 years before realizing I had a problem. I "seemed to maintain"  for the next 5 years. I bounced in and out of the program never reaching 30 days. At age 27 I was shipped to two different treatment centers. My clean date is July 22nd 2001. I have lived with addicts who use and have not gotten loaded. I have gotten and lost custody of children and not used drugs. I have married and am still clean. What I've learned is that no matter what .... there is no reason to use. As long as I work on myself, I continue to grow. Narcotics Anonymous has given me a life. If I live clean for another 100 years, I will never be able to give back what I have received.   Dope less  Hope fiend .

Monica B.

I was always late and never very sly. I couldn't keep appointments so I didn't even try. My family was ashamed of me and embarrassed by my actions, I was all alone in a crowd and had no idea how to find my way out. Then one fateful day I got caught, as many of us do, I found out that drugs weren't going to work for me any more (so true), I was forced to come to these rooms and listen to their laughter, then one day, the NA WAY, clicked and my old way didn't matter. I decided to get a sponsor, work the steps and figure this thing out. Then I fell from that "pink cloud" everyone has heard about. Life is hard sometimes and I relapsed after 23 months, but I dusted myself off and came back for more. I learned from my relapse to always take things one day at a time and to ask for help when I feel lonely or afraid and to do what my sponsor suggests...and guess what? If it can work for me, it can work for you too! 

Tracy N.

I was a late bloomer, I never even had a criminal record, I was in my mid-twenties, already had 2 children, and had been having a rough time in my marriage, and I was living in Las Vegas, Nevada. My childhood love came back into my life and we at one point starting talking about his past life and somehow we got into a conversation about drugs, well this got my curiosity up, so he knew of some people we could get meth from, he got us some. I tried it for my first time and liked it, I liked it so much that is started consuming my life, I got divorced and remarried, lost several homes, shockingly though at that point had never lost my children, well eventually our drug abuse drove us to move here to Oregon. At first other than being broke we actually were clean for a short time, we had gone to welfare as soon as we got into town they helped get us started, for about 2 weeks they put us up in a motel, then when they no longer could afford that, they put me and my girls in the Samaritan Inn, woman's Shelter and the man in my life at the river, down by the railroad tracks. This lasted for about a month until this old lady heard about us, she was taking care of a woman with MD (Muscular Dystrophy) she took us in, and for a while it was great Well we started learning that she was abusive and mentally damaging, so we started meeting new people and wound up back in the addiction again. Due to this woman partially and some due to our drug habit we wound up on the streets again sort of, we had lived with 2 different people and in another motel, until finally we moved in with our drug friend and his family, they were running a Bed and Breakfast at the time, little did they know their son also had a drug habit, well to kind of shorten this a little, from where we were living, 4 houses had been broken into. Because my husband having at the time been also a dumpster diver, and having bad criminal past of theft etc. he got arrested went to jail.

I started cleaning myself up after this happened. I had moved out of this house with my children and had moved to the Vista motel, and then off and on did a little bit of meth from  approx. July until September in September I decided enough was enough, well by then it was to late, I had moved again with my children, by now it is in October, I had been going to visit my husband in the jail every weekend until one fateful day I went to visit and got arrested, when they took me to book me in I found out I had a warrant for my arrest with several felonies in place, I spent two days in jail, which for some doesn't seem like anytime at all. For me it seemed like an eternity, when I got out I had no home, my children had been taken into foster care, it was definitely time to give up the drugs, I wound up going to the Samaritan, where I ended up staying for almost a year. Got opted into drug court, and of course was told I had to start attending AA/NA meetings. At first I hated, but knew I had to do what needed to be done to get my children back. Now my husband and I are in our own apartment, we are still held accountable cause we live in a UCAN transitional housing, and we are still on Probation, however we have been clean now almost 2 1/2 years for me and almost 3 years for him, we have our children back plus one new beautiful baby girl, I attend NA now because I really enjoy it, I have alot of support there and I love doing service work for the NA community, I also go to church quite regularly, and am the President of my church's Women's fellowship. I owe everything to the fellowship of NA, my higher Power and Drug Court. 
  
 

Zory

My name is Zory and I am an addict. I started using drugs at 12. I used until I was 37. During this period of time I graduated high school, got swimming scholarships to the University of Oregon, learned a trade as a union plumber, got married to a drug addict, bought homes, had kids and lived the white picket fence life (to the outside world). I was someone who acted like my life was under control, but the grip of drug addiction was always present and I could not stop. I tried for 25 years.

Drugs made my marriage a living hell so I left my husband of 13 years. During that time the construction industry crashed and I was unemployed for 1 1/2 years. My youngest daughter suffered from fragile health from birth and was hospitalized 17 times her first three years of life. This included 7 surgeries. I would go to the hospital high on drugs. One night on my way to the hospital, I was so high that I had an epiphany. I asked God "Did you give me Catrina to show me my life is as fragile as hers?"

I had relied heavily on my oldest daughter, Lexy, her entire life. She was my right hand that kept me going, enabling me to function. After yet another near overdose and another meeting with the devil I looked at Lexy and decided it was time to quit. I didn't want my kids to become addicts like their parents and I certainly didn't want to be a "do as I say not as I do" type parent. So on the day my godson was born I quit. I'd say a miracle had occurred.

I remember crying for 4 days straight as I detoxed. A friend told me about Narcotics Anonymous in 1996 and I found the Need A Nooner meeting. I walked in to the rooms with walls so high no one could get over them. The people with 3 months and 6 months clean were my heroes. If they could do it I could. I was home and I was determined to get clean. I found a sponsor and began my first step. I got to the part "Reservations" and the only reservation I had was that I would use if one of my kids were killed. I said out loud "Oh God, please don't do that to me". Five days later on 10-20-02, Lexy was killed in a freak horse riding accident at the age of 9. But I DIDN'T use.
I believe Lexy died to give me life and a reason to stay clean. I honor her life every day by staying clean.

I am grateful I found NA in the weeks before she was killed because I had a way to cope with my grief in a safe place surrounded by people who loved me. I got through it. Today I am still clean. I have never gone back to the life as an addict in active addiction. NA works if you work it. I work it. It gave me hope for a better life. Today my life is better than I ever knew it could be. I owe my happiness to NA. I go to meetings, I work the steps daily, I talk to my GOD and I do service work. NA works if you work it.

Another grateful recovering addict

My name is Mike I am an addict
When I came into the rooms of NA I was scared, lonely and I did not want to be
there. I did not want any one to know me. I thought they wouldn't like me. I had felt
enough rejection in my life. These people were hugging, laughing and they
seemed to be happy or somethig. Deep inside I want that. They huged me
when I felt worthless. They said they would love me and respect me until I
could learn to do that to my self. I have been clean and in RECOVERY for over
two years now and life is good. If you read this give your self a break try
this life out.

THANK YOU NA (UVANA)

Mike w.